"She can deal with stress and carry heavy burdens. She smiles when she feels like screaming and she sings when she feels like crying. She cries when she’s happy and laughs when she’s afraid. Her love is unconditional. There’s only one thing wrong with her,. She forgets what she’s worth."
-(via wordsandlyrics)A new hope.
Being excited for the first time. Not being let down or discouraged. Seeing my hard work start to pay off and get to enjoy it with those around me who I love. Things are going well. The love of my life by my side, with the job I’ve wanted so badly soon to be. I can’t help but smile.
"I did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. I did not like to be touched because I craved it too much. I wanted to be held very tight so I would not break. Even now, when people lean down to touch me, or hug me, or put a hand on my shoulder, I hold my breath. I turn my face. I want to cry."
-Marya Hornbacher
(via pinatasmashing)
(Source: -hardcandy)
You say you’re looking for happiness, but when it comes you run away from it. You tell yourself you don’t deserve it. There’s not much more that I can do, now the rest is up to you. Until you love yourself, you’ll never change.
(Source: wordsandlyrics)
I pray I become the woman I’ve always wished I could be. The one deserving of the love I’ve been so sweetly and gracefully given. I pray God moves me more, and that I wont be so stubborn. I pray that my arms are open to embrace what comes my way, whatever it may be. I pray that me being strong doesn’t come off as being cold and bitter to those around me. I want to be that woman. The one God desires me to be.
I will defend my men.
Feminism.
A topic that for some reason seems to seriously bug me. Most assume I am supportive of Feminists because of my job as a Firefighter. When I actually have a completely different view. I don’t think women are equal in all things and dont think that they can be. Now, lets stop there and remove the thought that is running through your mind now. I am in no way saying women are to be treated less and be trampled on. Just that we physically are different. And in my job, to do it well I must be well aware of my shortcomings. I am a woman, I cry when people die that I don’t know. I become a mother grizzly when people hurt, or about to hurt the children I Nanny. I at times lead with my emotions when I should lead reason. I am weaker than a man physically. I can not lift 300 lbs. over my head. I am a tall/bigger woman but I am smaller than most men.
In this profession and in the military, or the police I hear the most controversy from the public. About letting women go first, let them be on the front line, they are strong let the women do it.
Being around men most want to help me, most will see me carry something heavy (or just awkward) and want to help. This is NOT them saying I can’t do it. This is NOT them implying I have no rights and that I SHOULDN’T be carrying this or doing this task because I am a woman. They don’t like me being first in. Why? Because they think I can’t do the job? Because I am a woman and can’t handle myself?
No, because they were brought up to respect women. They don’t like me first in because they said they don’t want to see me hurt. That if something goes wrong they don’t want to tell my family they lost a daughter. And it angers me that women want to punish men for this. Men were wired to protect women. I listen to men who have watched women get shot, hear about them get raped (both things in the military). And it destroys them. They feel like they should have been there to prevent those things from happening. And because they couldn’t a part of them failed as a man. And it’s wrong to tell them that they have to get over that and we deserve to work there. Because we are forgetting about how those on the front line saw their friends murdered. And that most men, the ones I know. Wish only that women never see such horrible things or experience that. Them wanting to protect us from bodily harm, and PTSD is not wrong at all. Men are different than us,they are protectors and no matter how long you push that women are equal in all the ways a man is it only becomes more evident that we aren’t.
I have had my arguments with the guys about letting me do something, never once was it they thought I couldn’t do it. They saw me struggle and when there is no need for me to so they step in. It’s not a lack of trust. And honestly, if they didn’t try to help I wouldn’t trust them. When they help it means they are looking out for me. And feminists need someone to look out for them too. I only argue with them because I know I get better when I struggle. I have to do a lot more work to get something done than when the guys do. But I learn and get better each time. But I do not think it’s a bad thing that they watch out for me.
I can do everything a man can on the fire ground. You ask me to do it, you will have it done. I can promise you that. But can I chop a hole in the roof as fast as “Jerry” can? No, that’s simply because of our physical difference. He is stronger than me. Men, it’s about strength to get it done, for women in the service it’s about the technique. Using force, momentum and angles to your advantage. I am strong I can carry 150 lbs up 36 flights of stairs in under 20 min. I will not say I am weak at all. But there are some limits to what I can do. And if I sat there and denied that, I would be doing a disservice to those I work with and be endangering my men.
Also, I want to be a mom. I want to birth my child and maybe stay at home with the baby. I feel offended when people argue about WHY does the mom have to say home. It’s not her job. I’ve seen the banners, “I’m a woman, not a womb” and that frustrates me. What about the women who WANT to do that, who WANT so badly to be that stay at home wife. You alone are tearing them down as women. You are telling them they aren’t enough. Your cause is hurting women who desperately want a family. And it’s hard to see women fight for something so strongly and miss that they are hurting people. A stay at home mom’s job is just as hard if not harder than a mans. At least the people a man works with speak (well, that’s not completely accurate. I know there are a lot of inept people in the working field) But a baby, and little children don’t use words and can’t express anything other than crying and throwing fits. It takes a lot to handle that rationally.
Instead of telling men working outside the house is also for women and makes them independent. And that we have that right! (which I never saw any business say no you can’t cause you have a vagina) How about we teach and show the world what hard work it is to raise a functioning family and honor the women who do that. Instead of belittling the women who love doing what they do.
Instead, we should be arguing to hire those that qualify. Those who are best for the job, who will get it done in a proper manner. Human Resourses is bullshit. And Feminists should be all over that! A company is more worried about diversity, and lawsuits than the well being of their products. If you’re black, you should get the job because you are good at what you do. If you are white, you should get the job because you are good at what you do. If you are woman you should get the job because you are qualified! NOT because HR wanted a more “diverse” group.
Most say I will get the job because I am a woman and not most women are in this profession and it looks good for the Fire Department. But when I get hired it will because I worked my ass off to get here and deserve the job over the other candidates. Not because I am a woman.
This is only a touch of what bothers me with feminism. This is only the “Job” portion.
